This is Heather C.

Amazing, Live

Sea-Monkeys may just be the most fascinating creatures of the deep. Today, after properly preparing the tank, McParty and I began incubating the eggs of our future Sea-Monkey friends. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a pet in this house, so this is long overdue. You may think Sea-Monkeys are childish, or something of a joke, but besides being “amazing” and “live,” Sea-Monkeys are also the “most fantastic pets to ever live and breath” [sic], according to the good people at Transcience Corporation.

Complex Creatures

Did you know: Given proper care, Sea-Monkeys can grow to be 2/3 inch and live for two years?

There are probably many things that you, and most people, do not know about Sea-Monkeys. Why, I was surprised myself. Thankfully, my compatriot Ms. S. McParty is well on her way toward earning a college diploma and degree from the Crustacean College of Sea-Monkey Knowledge. (Which includes a Fellowship in the Secret Society of Sea-Monkey Scientists.)

Thanks to her Sea-Monkey studies, I have made other interesting discoveries. Did you know there is a very exciting world of Sea-Money parts and supplies to “help you care for your pets as well as add to your experience of pet ownership”?

You can buy your pets “CUPID’S ARROW” MATING POWDER ($3.00) to help shy Sea-Monkeys “afraid of ‘marriage’” make a “quick trip to the altar” and SEA DIAMONDS ($2), “sparkling ’sea gems’ … so pretty they might as well be REAL.” For safety, there’s the SEA-MONKEY “AQUA-LEASH”; for vitality, there’s “GRO-KWIKLY” SEA-MONKEYS GROWTH SIMULATOR ($3.00).

Did you know Sea-Monkeys can also save your life?

ITEM NO. 900
EXECUTIVE SEA-MONKEYS FOR GROWN-UPS
Whether or not they had Sea-Monkeys when THEY were kids, the “Office Pets” are for your favorite GROWN-UPS! Psychologists have published studies suggesting that the presence of fish or other live pets in a hectic office, reduces the stress and creates a safer environment for heart attack prone workaholic adults. If TRUE, Sea-Monkeys may really be LIFE-SAVERS in disguise! This ADULT kit comes with a “Micro-Vue Ocean Zoo” tank with UNIQUE magnifying lenses so OPTICALLY CLEAR they won’t need glasses to see even the SMALLEST Sea-Monkeys hatch alive before their eyes! With a binocular cover, and a special ebony black case, this mini-aquarium looks..PERFECT on a desk, table of shelf in any workplace! Included are the new HYBRID, longest-lived Sea-Monkeys EVER! Because they are SO HARD, these Sea-Monkeys were sued by NASA for hatching and growing experiments on tow SPACE-SHUTTLE flights in 1994l Water-Purifier; Plasma II; Growth Food; Feeding Spoon; The Official Sea-Monkey Handbook and “SEA-DIAMONDS” for the little cuties to play with, round out the kit that can bring tears of nostalgia to their eyes. So COMPLETE, this set needs WATER ONLY to make MIRACLES HAPPEN!

In all seriousness. Sea-Monkeys have been to space twice. When’s the last time you went to space?

Consider that.