I’ve got to be real, I LOVE karaoke. And I’m pretty good, too.
Reu, Me and Martika, Toy Soldier
I’ve been told that I can’t sing, but when I get that mic in my hand I swear that magic happens. My usual haunt is Winnie’s in Chinatown, but this weekend I made my way to Chorus in Koreatown with McParty and Reu.
Winnie’s is a total dive — wood paneling, red vinyl booths, a drunken proprietress, and Gen-X Jersey types singing Bon Jovi in the bowels of Chinatown. It’s full of slurring, old Chinese guys and every now and then a roach runs across the floor. They play songs on laser discs over the world’s crappiest sound system, but at the front of the room, there’s a stage. And that’s why I love Winnie’s.
Chorus couldn’t be more different. To get there you take an elevator to the third floor some random building, and when it stops at the second floor, a bunch of cool, young Koreans get off at what seems to be the coolest club in the world. Upstairs, the decor is all slick white and metal. It’s like a bunch of Korean masterminds got together in 1996 and asked each other: What will the future look like? Bonus: they serve complimentary boats of endless popcorn and cheese balls. There are TVs all over the place and the sound system is great. But there’s no stage, and that can be a big deal. When you do Careless Whisper, though, a live sax player comes out from nowhere. It makes the whole thing worth it.
If you’re ever willing to grab the mic and take the stage, I humbly offer my top 5 karaoke songs with a handy rating system. Pace yourself kids.
5. Led Zeppelin, Whole Lotta Love. It gets boring at parts, but there’s some potential to add some serious Robert Plant flair and everybody knows it.
How many drinks?:All it takes is a beer to start with this rocker
4. Phil Collins, Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now). Sure this ’80s sleeper hit is a downer, but I had a revolutionary karaoke moment singing this song. It’s easy and impressive.
How many drinks?: 1 whiskey and 1 beer for the right mix of wistful defiance
3. George Michael, One More Try. You’ve had enough of danger and people on the streets. Now let it all out.
How many drinks?: 1 beer, 1 whiskey, 1 tequila shot. You are a jilted lover.
2. Alicia Bridges, I Love the Nightlife (Disco ‘Round). Remind everyone why they came out with this disco classic.
How many drinks?: 1 beer, 1 whiskey, 2 tequila shots. The party has begun.
1. Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You. Slow it down a notch to end the night with a big bang. This one is hard, but it can be done. And when it’s done right, it’s magic.
How many drinks?: Take a cue from the Whitney play book. If you can stand, you’re too sober to sing this song.
A demonstration, FYT.
 McParty and me killing Careless Whisper |
 Careless Whisper Plus Live Sax |
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